This review contains NO PLOT SPOILERS!
Okay, with that out of the way, I need to urge you to see this movie in theaters ASAP! There are many that will see this movie and will not be able to shut up about it. They will ruin any number of the absolutely beautiful surprises that are peppered throughout this film, simply because they can’t contain themselves. These people are bad and you should stay away from them. Also, other than this site, you need to avoid the internet. No Facebook or Twitter until you’ve seen this movie. Your idiot friends are going to ruin it for you. I’m not kidding. You know how they are.
Although, as much as I am urging you to see this film, crammed full of humor, horror, and gore galore, I also want to avoid over-hyping it to you (too late), as that tends to set people up for disappointment when it doesn’t become the next step in sliced bread evolution. The film is not perfect, but you’ll be enjoying the ride too much to care. Depending on how far into the premise you’re willing to immerse yourself, you might wallow happily or you might find yourself thinking how cute they are getting off on their oh-so-clever idea (which it really is). Either way, you’re entertained.
Being that this is a film co-written by Joss Whedon (Avengers, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Firefly) and Drew Goddard (Cloverfield, and writer on nearly all of Whedon’s tv projects), you can expect as much laughs as fountains of blood. And, despite the fact that this comparison might turn people off as much as it might turn them on, this movie comes across as an exceptional Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode if said episode had a bigger effects budget and none of the characters from the show. Don’t even try to match up the main 5 characters in Cabin with the Scoobies. There just aren’t any exact parallels. Oh, and speaking of the Whedonverse, you’ll find more than a few familiar faces from any number of Joss’s shows, but I won’t ruin those surprises either. But for those of you who want to get an early look at what the God of Thunder would sound like reading words by Joss Whedon, this is your chance, because Chris Hemsworth, aka the Mighty Thor from the Avengers, has a significant role in the film, which was shot a little before he picked up his Uru hammer the first time. One more thing… Bradley Whitford and Richard Jenkins almost steal the movie (no, I can’t tell you their roles in the film, but they are the first people we see).
All I can say is that if you’re expecting your standard horror film, you’re on the wrong path. If you’re expecting a goofy comedy splatterfest, you’re not going to get that either. This movie has bigger things on its mind, but not in a pretentious, high-minded, “here’s a lesson you should learn” kind of way. But it does answer more than a few questions you didn’t realize you wondered about until you come face to face with them in this film. Surprises like that made me really enjoy the film on a level far beyond cool kill shots.
This is normally where I would put the trailer, but I can’t do it this time. Don’t go looking for it either. If you’ve already seen it somewhere else, forget what you saw. My only big disappointment was the fact that the trailer gives up a considerably big plot twist (or two) that removed some of the surprise for me. But it didn’t ruin the movie for me by a long shot. You need to go into this movie cold. If you enjoy horror films and comedies, that’s all you need to know going into this to enjoy it. The true joy in seeing the Cabin in the Woods is discovering the twists and turns in this film as they unfold in front of you. Even if you can barely handle rated R blood and gore, slosh through it to get to some of the coolest moments in horror film. There is one kill shot that we’ve been waiting for our entire lives, but never knew how much we’ve wanted it until the Cabin in the Woods.
Don’t read any other reviews and don’t make plans to see any other movie this weekend. Just go see the Cabin in the Woods ASAP, before the masses on Facebook and Twitter and the general media ruin it for you. And for the love of god, DO NOT WAIT FOR DVD!!! By then all of the nonsensical troll backlash will have taken hold, every sweet surprise will be spoiled, and it just wouldn’t be as fun as discovering it in a theater full of people reacting to the madness all around you. It’s half the fun of the film.
So GO! Find 2 hours before you head back to work Monday and make this movie #1 at the box office this weekend. You won’t regret taking a one-way trip to the Cabin in the Woods!