A guess at the best-case/worst-case scenarios for the original Star Wars cast’s return to Episode VII…
A guess at the best-case/worst-case scenarios for the original Star Wars cast’s return to Episode VII…
Last week, George Lucas himself seemed to spill the beans regarding the return of the main trio of Star Wars characters in the recently announced J.J. Abrams-directed Episode VII. While the fan in all of us can’t help but be a little excited at the prospect of catching up with our old friends Luke, Han, and Leia, there’s more than enough reason to be skeptical.
After all, we loved Harrison Ford and Karen Allen in Raiders of the Lost Ark—so how’d they stink up the joint so bad in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull? Obviously, the success or failure of an old favorite reprising a decades-old role depends a lot on the material they’re given. So here’s a bit of speculation about how the gang’s return to Star Wars can go right… and how it can go oh-so-very wrong.
Han Solo
What do we like best about Han Solo? His name says it all: his independence, his anti-authority attitude. So even though the end of Return of the Jedi saw him fully committed to Princess Leia and the Rebel Alliance—a recipe that would seem to indicate he was settling down—what we really want is for our favorite space scoundrel to get into some action, and to demonstrate the grace and wits of a guy who’s been surviving the perils of space for decades.
That said, it’s probably best to keep Solo’s action scenes somewhat believable. The aforementioned Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was pretty painful to watch for a number of reasons, not least of which was the 66-year old Indiana Jones constantly falling down and looking more like a cartoon than a pulp hero. Solo should act his age—which, by the time Episode VII rolls around, will be over 70.
Best-Case Scenario
- Han Solo flies the Millennium Falcon. This must happen or else the movie doesn’t count.
- He’s still devoted to Leia, and they fight like old married people do. But in a nicer way than my grandparents ever did. You know, cute fighting. Is that called “bickering”? Bickering.
- Solo doesn’t hesitate to fire a blaster, but can still bluff his way out of—and into—trouble.
- Chewbacca’s at Han’s side, replete with grey patches of fur—a sign of Wookkie maturity. Maybe he’ll smoke a pipe! What a classy gentleman!
Worst-Case Scenario
- Han Solo Junior swings from a CGI Sarlaac tentacle to save his dad.
- Han falls down, or is bonked on the head (this will be a Disney movie, after all).
- Chewbacca is dead.
Princess Leia
Leia’s role in the new Star Wars movie is important for a lot of reasons. As the lone female in a cast full of men, Leia—whether Lucas meant for this to happen or not—represents women in general in the Star Wars universe. That the only other female character of any importance in Lucas’s other trilogy is her mother kind of drives that point home. But in both cases, Leia and Padme were young, in the prime of life, and were often just as game for adventure and action amid flying space ships as the guys, if not more so.
So while the previous two examples of femininity in the Star Wars films were depictions of youth and action, the core of Leia’s character is that she’s a leader, and royalty as well. In Episode VII, Leia ought to be running the New Republic, ruling with a strong sense of justice and fairness, but dealing with detractors of her political position with wit and sarcasm. One of Leia’s most memorable characteristics is her tendency to give as good as she gets, and rarely losing her cool. It’s what makes her match with Han seem so natural.
Best-Case Scenario
- Leia has remained a competent and compassionate leader. President Organa-Solo has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?
- She saves people! Leia thrives with a blaster in her hand. I can’t imagine she’d take well to retirement.
- The Force is strong with this one. She should swing a lightsaber—even just for one scene.
Worst-Case Scenario
- Leia will make jokes about wearing that metal bikini from Jabba’s palace.
- The buns are back. So many hair buns.
- She sings. About Life Day.
Luke Skywalker
Han and Leia may be the fan favorites, but no matter what, the original trilogy is Luke’s story, and his decisions and actions drive the movies forward. One of the reasons why Luke may not be as highly regarded as that of the other main characters is that Luke is the stand-in for the viewer—we want to be Luke so we can hang out with Han and those crazy robots, while beating up the bad guys with a laser sword.
Luke is also the galaxy’s only remaining Jedi by the end of Episode VI, so it’s imperative that we see him in Obi Wan’s role at the start of A New Hope. Moreover, the fact that he defeated Darth Vader and the Emperor—you know, evil, all-powerful space wizards—should have attained something of a legendary status by the time Episode VII rolls around. Luke’s status as the hero who basically won galactic freedom shouldn’t be ignored.
But above all, since he’s our cinematic stand-in, we want to be sure that Luke turned out okay since we last left him. It’s been years since the end of Episode VI, and his life has turned out for the better. He should be older, wiser, and at peace with the world around him, and he definitely hasn’t become a creepy weirdo, writing about his favorite movies on the internet.
Best-Case Scenario
- Luke is not just a Jedi Knight, but a Jedi Master, shaping and molding the new Jedi Order.
- While Han and Leia had fun space romps and wacky hijinks, Luke kind of got the short end of the stick adventure-wise—he lost his hand, had to take orders from a puppet, and beat up his own dad (therapy-fuel). He should enjoy a retirement from adventuring.
- A family and kids? Let’s junk that celibate space-monk thing and let poor Luke get some action for once. We’ve already seen what it did to his dad…
Worst-Case Scenario
- In an effort to reconnect with his ghost-dad, Luke gains a deep love for pod-racing. He hangs out with Watto a lot.
- Luke embraces retirement and becomes a moisture farmer. He drinks nothing but blue milk.
- He does get that family and kids: he marries Jar Jar Binks’ daughter. He has the most-hated children in the universe.
- Chewbacca is still dead.
Images: Lucasfilm/20th Century Fox