The Expendables’ films aren’t super deep, plot driven tales about troubled mercenaries in a world that’s out to get them. It’s all “SHOOT SHOOT! KILL KILL! EXPLOSIONS! ROLL CREDITS!” And that’s totally not a bad thing.
Ever since the first film, we’ve become fans of these mindlessly fun action romps that feature our favorite badasses. Growing up we always envisioned Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Wills starring in the same film together. It took years, but once it finally happened, all we could think was who else to add. The second movie saw Van Damme and Chuck Norris added to the bill. Now we’re about to get new roster additions like Wesley Snipes, Harrison Ford, and Mel Gibson in The Expendables 3, but we’re already imagining who will be in the next one.
There are claims that they will stop at three, but it has also been rumored that Pierce Brosnan was already approached for a fourth movie. So, here are ten big screen badasses we’d love to either root for or hate in the next Expendables film.
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson
“Stone Cold” Steve Austin was such an enjoyable jerk in the first Expendables film. He was a smug SOB that was taken out in the most awesome way possible – via a Randy Couture tackle into some flames. It’s about time for another pro wrestler to make his presence known – none other than Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. Hero to many and superstar to all, he’d make a great addition to the mercenaries team. He’s convinced us of his action movie prowess in The Rundown, Fast & Furious 6 and Walking Tall. Hand the man an AK-47 and some elbow pads for his entrance exam for The Expendables 4.
The wonderful Miss Yeoh had earned the respect of many thanks to her performing her own stunts in several Hong Kong action flicks. Most American action cinema followers know her from her role in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. But more hardcore action movie buffs have probably watched her kick ass in classics like Police Story 3: Super Cop and Once A Cop. Not only is she incredibly graceful, she’s capable of breaking your spine in two. As a villain, we’d pay that exorbitant movie theater fee to see her break down some Expendables crew members.
Younger action movie fanatics might now know who this dude is at first glance, but make sure you do your research and do some Netflix binge watching on this great man. He protected Sarah Conner from that damned Terminator as Kyle Reese and he dealt with an Alien menace as Cpl. Dwayne Hicks. Michael Biehn knows a thing or two about the genre, so it makes a ton of sense for him to star in the next Expendables film. Maybe he’d pull off the old, grizzled on-site contact for the team? All we know is that with a resume that includes Aliens, The Terminator, The Abyss, The Rock and Tombstone – Biehn deserves a look from Stallone and crew.
Ah, the beautiful and illustrious Angelina Jolie. She recently made Disney fans applaud her for her role as the misunderstood villain, Maleficent. Gamers know her for her time spent as Miss Lara Croft from those half-way decent Tomb Raider films. And tons of movie historians respect her roles from big blockbusters such as The Bone Collector and Mr. & Mrs. Smith. Jolie is the ultimate femme fatale, which makes her another great female selection for this team. She’s easy on the eyes and ready to handle some extreme weaponry in an instant. If Ronda Rousey stays on the team for the next film, Jolie would make a perfect partner for her.
Ah, the good ol’ Drunken Master himself. Jackie Chan’s storied career in the world of martial arts films is legendary. We watched Mr. Chan perform a variety of death defying stunts and kick an exuberant amount of ass along the way. Jackie got a ton of mainstream love due to this blockbuster roles in Rumble in the Bronx and the Rush Hour films. Even though we’ve heard that Jackie Chan is taking it much slower these days, we’d still love to see him channel that old school craziness he used to exhibit. We’d pay good money to see him and Jet Li fend off a room of nameless baddies.
“ENGLISH MUTHAFUCKA, DO YOU SPEAK IT?” Now this might seem like a complete pipe dream, but it still needs to happen before this movie series officially wraps up. He’s been awesome as a part of Marvel Studios’ connected hierarchy of films. The man’s voice, extra heated demeanor and penchant for dropping memorable lines makes him a perfect fit for The Expendables. So, which version of Samuel Jackson needs to join up with Stallone and company? Jules Winfield (Pulp Fiction) or Neville Flynn (Snakes on a Plane)? Either one is fine, in our opinion.
So did anyone else see the criminally underrated Cabin in the Woods? Everything about that film was amazing, but the most fan-gasm worthy part came when THE Sigourney Weaver stepped out of the dark and made an appearance. We’ve developed a passionate appreciation for Weaver, thanks to her amazing performances in the line of Alien films. It’s about time she made another “OMG!” surprise moment occur in a film, which is why we’d love to see her pop up in the next Expendables film. She’s fended off some slimy aliens for years. We’re sure she’d have an easy time shooting down some evil boss’ lackeys.
Escape From New York. The Thing. Big Trouble in Little China. Stargate. All of these films have starred one of action cinema’s most beloved actors – the great Kurt Russell. His career is marked by a ton of mainstream hits and cult films. We recognize him most as the badass Snake Plissken who inspired Metal Gear Solid’s main hero, Solid Snake. Kurt Russell did an excellent job as the one-eyed wonder, so we’re hoping that Kurt adopts a similar role for a future role as an Expendables member. Make him sport an eye patch, wield two massive machine guns and let him get to work! And then when Stallone asks what he’s doing out in some far corner of the world, he’ll just have to say, “Dying.”
Michelle Rodriguez is one of those super legit female badasses who was introduced in the 2000s. We loved her in Girlfight and came to appreciate her even more in the Fast & Furious series. She seems game for any and all roles that put her in harm’s way, which is one of the most admirable traits of such a tough lady. Her credentials speak volumes about her, which is why she’s such an easy choice for the next Expendables outing. We’re always looking to see more women join the squad. Michelle Rodriguez would look great with some black body armor, a machete in one hand and a Sniper Rifle in the other one.
We’re shocked at the fact that Tony Jaa hasn’t shown up to break some limbs in any of The Expendables movies. Anyone who’s seen any of the Ong-Bak films can attest to how amazing Jaa’s martial arts repertoire is. Now we loved seeing Jet Li do some swift beatdowns on all those bums that block his path to victory. But we’re itching to watch Tony Jaa sport that familiar team armor and fight alongside his fellow martial arts movie icons. The man can move at an incredibly fast rate and do away with multiple men with just one move. Tony Jaa is tailor made for a 10 minute long action sequence in a future installment of The Expendables.
Images: Lionsgate, WWE, Sony Pictures Classics, Paramount Pictures,
New Line Cinema, 20th Century Fox, AVCO Embassy Pictures,
Universal Pictures, Sahamongkol Film International